Spicing it up
by Nannae
Summary: Draco wants a spouse to help him raise his daughter. Harry wants some excitment in his life. So what happens when the two agree to try dating? One can only guess! R
1. What starts it all

Draco Malfoy stood in front of his mirror desperately attempting to untangle a knot in his bangs while his daughter stood behind him practically steaming at the ears. "Father you cannot do this!" the girl said in a tone that gave off more then a little hint of frustration. "Do what dear?" questioned Draco in a distant tone as he began tying his now tangle free hair into a low ponytail. "You know very well what I mean! I swear every time you divorce someone you go and decide courting that Parkinson woman is the best thing you could do! Honestly either the woman is going to Aveda you, or force you into proposing!" she cried, flailing her arms wildly in the air.

Draco turned to face his distraught daughter sighing, yet feeling that sense of pride parents often get at random moments. She was the result of his second wife who had run off with some muggle she met while out on some errand. He hadn't been too fond of Jenny but having May was well worth it. She had been his steady throughout all his fallouts in the past years, a constant worrier but a dear nonetheless. "Now May I think you're over reacting, this is simply a meeting between old friends-" "Who haven't seen each other since you divorced Abigail." May stated matter-of-factly, wearing what could be recognized as the trademark Malfoy smirk. Rolling his eyes Draco sat on his bed and began to put on his shoes, "Now look you may not like it but I want you to have a mother, and I'll do whatever it takes to get you one. Now don't sit there and pout like a child I'm doing this for you." May deflated at the statement and sat down next to her father. "Look Dad, I want you to get married for you not because it'll make you feel better about my 'upbringing.' So just stop, kay?" Draco looked at his daughter and felt guiltier then ever. For some reason he could never keep a single woman, they either said it wasn't working or just up and left. Now most men would have given up by this time, but he was a Malfoy! And dammit, Malfoy's didn't take no for an answer. May needed someone to be there when he wasn't…and not some house elf. "Darling I need to go now, I'm late enough as it is, and Pansy hates it when I'm late." with that he kissed his crestfallen daughter on the forehead and quickly apparated to Hogsmeade to meet Pansy.

H/D

Harry Potter was not in a good mood. To be more specific he was in abnormally foul mood that kept his many fans at bay. Why? Just 10 minutes ago Ginny Weasley, who could only say "Harry I think you need to search yourself, this isn't where you should be and you know it", had dumped him. He had been the perfect boyfriend and what did he get? He got dumped, flat on his face. And what did she mean, "search yourself"? He was perfectly fine just the way he was, what did he need to find?

He continued his steady march through the snow, ignoring the fact that he was freezing and could easily apparate home. Right now he needed to think and out in the snow seemed like the perfect place. The lights from the three broomsticks were bright as ever and feeling the need for a drink he decided to head in. What else was there to do? Go home and punch the pillows? And with that final thought he walked into the tavern only to stop dead in his tracks with his mouth hanging open.

There in the back of the tavern sat a very miffed looking Malfoy.

End Chapter

Kay this is my first Draco/Harry so be kind and help would be ADORED! So thanks for reading and please comment! And don't worry there will be one on one Draco Harry time in the next chapter!


	2. Drunken Plots

Wow I so did not think anyone would read this story!

Gene: It was supposed to be a default chapter but I couldn't figure out the chapter thing so lol no worries I plan to make the other chapters WAY longer! Thanks for being my first reviewer!

dippsie: Lol well this is where it all starts really there first date is yet to come lol! And I love Harry/Draco to!

eggs: Of course no story would be complete without the random flamer who wants to make fun of the story. I said it was Harry/Draco and if you think it's stupid, guess what I don't care this is my story. Hence the name 'fanfiction.'

Elektra107: Grazi! I was so hoping people would like it! I hope the rest of the story is to your liking!

ATadObsessive46: Thanks for the help! I'll most certainly take your advice to heart! I f you have any more advice I would be thrilled to hear it! Thanks!

California smells funny: I thought it would be a fun quirk to! Out of character but really funny and sweet! Thanks for noticing!

fifespice: Man you're good! Hope the story goes to your liking!

Dark: Yeah it just came to me! No planning no pre thoughts I just started typing it! Update calendars HERE I COME! lol! Glad you like it!

On with the chapter!

Draco sat staring at the bottom of his now empty glass, glowering at his remaining drop of fire whiskey. Damn Pansy! He had spent hours getting ready and for what? So the lousy bitch could stand him up! He had sat at one of the finest restaurants in town for 3 hours waiting for her till finally he gave up, turned the silverware into canaries and stormed out of the building.

Then somehow he had ended up here. At some pub sucking back fire whiskeys at a speed that only alcoholics had mastered. He could see May now, screaming at him to come home this instant and stop drinking in some commoner's dirty old pub. She was a bit of a snob sometimes but an endearing child nonetheless. Maybe he should send a card to good old Jenny thanking her again for going into childbirth then leaving May all to him. And we can all be certain that this train of thought would have continued on for hours had it not been for someone tapping on his shoulder rather sharply.

"WHAT!" bellowed Draco turning to face his insistent poker, only to find a somewhat shocked Harry Potter staring down at him.

"Malfoy what are you doing here?" Harry asked regaining his composure and sliding into the seat across from Malfoy. And without invitation Draco bitterly noted.

"It's a free country isn't it Potter," Draco sneered, "Or am I getting in your way. Wouldn't want to stand between the mighty Potter and his alcohol poisoning." Harry shook his head and shot Malfoy a look.

"I was just asking, no need to bite my head off. Had enough of that tonight." Harry half stated half mumbled feeling rather silly telling a tipsy Malfoy about his evening.

"Oh shove it Potter my night was worse then yours!" declared Malfoy his face contorting into a painful look of drunken haze and discontent. "I got stood up by Pansy. I mean stand me up? The bitch was lucky I acknowledged her existence! She just hates that I never married her!" And at this comment Harry looked a little taken a back.

He and Malfoy had always held an equal dislike of each other and for Malfoy to announce the cause for his drunken displeasure was a slight shock. 'He must be really drunk' thought Harry as Malfoy motioned Rosmerta for another Fire whiskey.

"So what's your sob story Potty," questioned Malfoy in a bored tone shaking Harry out of his pondering. "I mean to make the 'Golden Boy' of our days come in for a drink must've been something worth hearing."

Harry hesitated, should he really tell Malfoy about Ginny? 'Well,' thought Harry, 'it's not like he'll remember a word I say so I guess it couldn't hurt.' "I got dumped Malfoy. Plain and simple." Harry then eased back in his chair waiting for Malfoy to respond. Which could take a while since it seemed Malfoy was having trouble putting it all together.

"Dumped Potter?" Malfoy finally questioned after downing the rest of his Firewhiskey.

"Yes Malfoy dumped like a pack of stink bombs gone bad. Apparently I didn't have my heart in the relationship." Harry spat the rest of the statement out with a look of disgust. The sting of the whole situation was still alive in Harry, which he supposed was the reason why he was spilling all of it to a rather drunk Malfoy. Speaking of which, it seemed that Malfoy had just ordered two Fire whiskeys and was pushing one towards Harry.

"Drink Potter, you need one as much as I do." And with that Malfoy tossed his head back and began gulping down the mug's contents.

"Uhh thanks Malfoy…but I can get my own drink. I mean it's-"

"Tonight Potter I'm feeling quite generous and umm what's that phrase kids keep saying uhh **hic** I feel you or hmm I get you." Malfoy then shrugged his shoulders and leaned back into the cushy lining of the booth.

Harry on the other hand just had his mouth hanging open and began wondering if Malfoy was always such a friendly drunk. He had always suspected that Malfoy would be a violent drunk who hexed anyone who got to close for comfort.

"Malfoy? Are you feeling all right?"

The blonde turned his head towards the window and let out what most people who consider a dramatic sigh.

"Just trying to make things work out really. Honestly it seems like things just keep getting more complicated. I mean when you can't even rely on Pansy for a quick snog you know things are bad."

Yet again Harry was at a loss for what to say. 'I could walk away right now if I wanted to. He's to drunk to care by this point and it's getting a tad to odd for my liking but still-'

"Something go wrong with Pansy?" Harry found himself asking inspite of his previous notions to head for the hills. And oddly enough Draco looked up at Harry with a complete look of trust, though Harry decided to attribute it to all the alcohol.

"Why yes Potter something did! In fact something always goes wrong doesn't it? hiccup Things always go wrong with women in general!" he then shifted his eyes back and forth then leaned across the table so he was practically nose to nose with Harry. "I think it's one big conspiracy. You know why?" Harry quickly shook his head, still shocked at how close Draco was to his face. "Well, you see, they ALL say the same thing! They tell me that I need to reconsider my sensitivity! Like I'm some kind of poof!"

Harry then paused as Draco leaned back with a proud look on his face. 'What the hell?' Harry, in all honesty, was considering a trip to St. Mungo's at this point.

"I think you mean sexuality Malfoy…"

"Well Potter we can't all be perfect can we? But I mean a poof! Poof Potter poof!"

"Yes Malfoy I heard you the first time." Harry noticed the frazzled look that was coming over Draco. Frazzled drunks were never good.

"But don't you think it's crazy Potter? I mean what do I have to do to prove it to them! They all run so fast that I don't get a word of defense in! I mean you'd think they would trust me a tad more! I mean I marry half of them and they still think I'm queer!" Draco then slumped forward letting his head hit the table with a loud smack. Harry looked at his once archrival, a drunken slump of a man who it seemed was having the same luck as him.

"Wait Malfoy you marry half of them? How many have you married?" Draco then propped his elbows up and rested his head on his palms.

"Well hmm…one, Jenny was two. Hmmm did I marry Margarite? No that was Shelly. Ummm….I suppose about 8 wives thus far. But they never last long, maybe a year and a half I 'd say.

Harry wasn't sure his response to that should be. 'Don't worry mate 9 is the lucky number,' for some reason that just didn't seem right. Maybe Malfoy was gay. I mean after 8 wives there has to be something wrong.

"You know I should show them all!" Harry was drawn out of his thoughts by a gleaming Malfoy who had his fist raised high in the air.

"And how would you do that Malfoy?" Harry was kind of curious on how Malfoy was planning on going about this. Drunk and schemeing was always something worth watching.

"I'll date someone! That's what I'll do! And after a while I'll say it isn't right and I'll have poof!" Draco was beaming at Harry with a crazy glint in his eye.

"I think you mean proof Malfoy…and date someone? Like pretend your gay?"

"Yes potter, the plan is full proof!" Malfoy was practically drunk with glee, well he would have been had he not been already drunk.

"Malfoy, you realize you'll hafta find someone who isn't gonna take you seriously. I mean what is the poor bloke thinks you're serious?" Harry had to throw it in, besides it was something worth thinking on. For some reason though Malfoy got a glint in his eye, a glint Harry remembered from their days at Hogwarts when Malfoy had some evil scheme up his sleeve.

Then the drunk Malfoy smiled and leaned forward, "how about you?" Which of course sent our boy hero into a spluttering fit.

"Malfoy are you bloody mad!" Harry blanched at Malfoy trying not to make a scene. He did have an appearance to keep as the Boy-Who-Lived right?

"No Potter, just tipsy. And it does make sense, you get your girl to see that she was wrong, I have proof to give my wives, everyone wins." Malfoy seemed to look quite sure of himself. Well he did, till he passed out cold on the floor with a loud plunk.

Harry jumped out of his seat and rushed over to Malfoy, "Malfoy? Um…" Harry wasn't sure what to do with him. His only experience with a passed out drunk was when Ron had drunk himself silly on his 20th birthday. Harry had simply apparated Ron back home and tucked him into to bed. Would he do that with Malfoy?

Sighing he looked down at Malfoy and carefully picked him up, he was surprisingly light, and slowly walked out of the pub and into the snow. He had an idea of where Malfoy manor was, and with that he and an unconscious Malfoy apparated back to Malfoy Manor.

sorry this took so long guys! And I'm sorry if this seems kinda blah, cause it is. It's that one chapter that you hafta write before you can get to the good stuff ya know? I promise the others will be better and sooner lol. Read and review and please give constructive criticism instead of just flames. Thanks! Love ya Nannae


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